Oh, God, what did my eyes do so wrong to deserve having to see this? At least now we are all in this together.
Jessica Simpson, seventeen months pregnant, poses naked on the cover of Elle this month, and it is gross, even with all that airbrushing. (Everyone knows this trend should’ve stopped with Demi Moore. Actually, Demi Moore would probably do this better today, and she just got out of rehab.)
In the piece, Jessica worries that her baby (now confirmed to be a girl) will be athletic and will not want to wear Louboutins. Well, lady, you should’ve thought of that before you decided to have a baby with a football player instead of the host of The Sing-Off.
She also says the baby will have a “nontraditional” name: “It’s nothing shocking and nothing you’ll have to add to the dictionary. Still, when people hear it, they’ll know … why.”
You know, I would say “gag me,” but I already am.